July 23, 2003 Another difficult day of the river, averaging just over one mile an hour. The head winds are 10-15 mph and are taxing on the crew and me. We knew we were in trouble when there were whitecaps at 8:00. Well, it's challenging. We are 3 1/2 miles short of Kentucky Dam, and one mile behind schedule. Tomorrow will be great, I know it! I did not journal yesterday, partly because I was totally exhausted, but for another reason too. My husband told me I had offended someone by something I wrote in my journal. I asked him not to tell me anymore than that...It is my journal about what occupies my mind as I swim each leg, and I would not intentionally offend anyone; so I did not want to know the who or the what. For two days now, I have fought the headwinds and swallowed more water in a day than all four past years put together. My frustration at my husband's statement, pushed me forward as my mind ruminated over the word "offend". So, I am going to say what offends me...please stop reading if you are easily offended. I am offended when I get strange looks or "cute" remarks about my decision not to eat meat. I cannot eat a hamburger when I know at least 50% of cows are skinned alive because they "bleed out" faster that way. I cannot eat meat when I know it takes 2500 gallons of water to produce one pound of meat and only 25 gallons to produce one pound of soybeans. I cannot eat meat when I know there is more sewage from livestock produced every year than from people. Only the livestock feces does not go through a sewage treatment plant. The billions of pounds of excrement end up in piles to dry up and drift away and run off into our rivers. I am offended when people call me New Age because I am an environmentalist. I don't even know the definition of New Age. A friend preaches pro-life, has eight kids, and is going for more, but she has never shown up to one of our neighborhood creek clean-ups. She goes to yard sales on Saturday instead. I call what I am pro-life because respect for life should not end at birth. Statistics suggest that all life is affected by pollutants in our environment. And where do these pollutants come from? My brother's son flatlined on a medivac to the hospital with a damaged liver, my friend's four year old daughter had to have a bone marrow transplant because of her body's inability to handle chemical pollutants, my 45 year old neighbor died last month from a cancer ridden body, a fellow teacher is slowing dying from brain/breast cancer, a friend's husband has one type of lymphoma while another friend's husband has a different type, and yet another friend is dying from breast cancer. Cancer clinics run chemo treatment centers that resemble production lines. All this while the Clean Water Act is being relaxed and the Air Pollution standards are being relaxed and pro-lifers like me are called, "New Age"? Yes, I am offended. Well, the river raged on and so did my thoughts. Ultimately I came to the realization that yes, I am offended, but mostly, I am offended with myself. I am so pathetically/fantastically human and full of error. I cannot throw stones without looking within. And there I find so much I need to change/do. I can conserve more water, reduce a lot more, reuse even more, and recylce what is left. I can spend more time picking up litter before it goes into our creek to be carried to the Tennessee. I can spend more time talking with neighbors and educating them through the TCWN (TN Clean Water Network). I can plant flowers along bridgeways instead of letting the weeds grow that the county kills with poisons that end up in the river. I can spend more time writing to congressmen about my concerns. I can give more money to groups working towards a more prolife environment for our children. Yes, there is a lot I can do...and that is all I can do. Yes, "For God so loved the World..." I will take care of it. Swimming on, mimi